Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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