If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
