Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
