Nicole vs. Life
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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