i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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