Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
