didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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