Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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