Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
