it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
