butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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