there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
