Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
