That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You made out with two different species that night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
