He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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