had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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