OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
