is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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