don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
