OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
