we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
