textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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