Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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