Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
