I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
