do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
