So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
