i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
