Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
