The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think my moral compass just broke
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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