And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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