I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
