look no pants
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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