your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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