Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
