There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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