Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What drink are we having for lunch?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
