I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What a dumb baby whore.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
