I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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