my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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