gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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