Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
