They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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