The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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