You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
