You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
