i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
