I bet he comes in French.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
His nipple licking is glorious
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