His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Enjoy the penises
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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