I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
